Interpersonal Com Blog #1

The first day of Interpersonal Communication class was not what I expected at all. When I arrived I was a nervous Nelly, but that is nothing new for me. The class environment was stiff as we went through expectations and learned a bit about each other. It was not until we started talking about concepts and demonstrating them together as a class that people began to loosen up. The “We are all in this together” feeling prevailed and we all settled in. The first class definitely generated a lot of afterthought for me personally. I found myself over analyzing for the next couple days over some specific concepts we had talked about. It was very interesting to be told that we as people need conversation and interaction. In fact, we crave it. It is the very way we find out who we consider ourselves to be. Other people’s opinions of us shape the idea of who we think we are. We learned that there were two types of interactions between people. Impersonal conversations are mechanical in nature and more disconnected. Interpersonal conversations are more personalized and unique. After learning that I started thinking through my daily life and it is sad how many impersonal conversations happen during one day on a college campus. As I kept reviewing these concepts in my head though, one question seemed to stick. “Even though impersonal conversations are counted as meaningless shortened chatter, can those small conversations possibly hope to lead into having interpersonal conversations at a later point in time?” I know we said that impersonal conversations were very meaningless and do not go into much depth. They are conversations in which the two roles play into an “I- It” relationship. There is distance between the two people and conversation is more unmemorable and mechanical. This could be a result of a reluctance to speak to one person, or perhaps even on both person’s behalves. Other reasons could be a natural means of protecting oneself when talking to strangers. Not usually do you right off the bat start having an in-depth, heart felt conversation to someone. Especially anyone you deem suspicious or off in some way. That is an internal protection we have established inside us. A red flag system. Speaking to strangers generally does start with impersonal conversations first, but the conversations can switch into the interpersonal mode when people really hit it off. If you continually speak to that stranger, the relationship between person A and person B will eventually have to change in a positive or negative manner. The result will be more continuous deep conversation, or even more so nonexistent conversation. In interpersonal conversations, the two roles play as two unique individuals. Both people interact with one another and go in-depth with their honest feelings. I admit that when impersonal conversations happen to me I often find myself thinking, “Wow that conversation was pointless, but it was great to see so and so.” Even though the conversation itself had no real meaning or significance, the fact that it happened, meant something to me. When enough of those conversations occur, it opens the gateways for new possible interpersonal conversations to blossom. After learning about interpersonal conversations I was immediately able to recall very special and meaningful conversations that I had experienced in the past. Communication between people really is interesting. You are constantly inside a walking linear communication model, or a transactional one. This all depends on the type of person you are. Some people are better at listening and others are more suited to taking charge of the conversation. Everyday you have a chance to have amazing conversations with friends, family, or future friends. I purposely do not wear headphones when walking to my classes because I genuinely like having short impersonal conversations as I go about my day. I know they are pretty meaningless when you are only viewing the basic passing words that were shared, but the general acknowledgment of both parties was there. Seeing a new classmate for the first time outside of class you do not always have much to say to one another in the beginning and the “protection mode” from strangers might still be on. Yet, gradually the two students speak to one another multiple times using impersonal communication, then the conversation becomes more comfortable and it switches into a more personal sense of communication. So who is to say that it is really worthless chatter at all then? If it can lead to such great relationships in the future, or even possibly to the two people hating each others guts from the moment they both spoke, is it truly meaningless? Seems to me like impersonal conversations are important first impressions. It can be the short words shared while “testing the waters.” They are the start of what will later make or break a friendship, a lovers relationship, or even a mutual bond between co-workers. There is a lot of power in language. Whether that be silent body language, or verbal outspoken language. Communication is key. In class we learned that it is basically impossibly not to communicate with one another. My professor had a student go up in front of the class with the instructions to not interact whatsoever with us. This included no facial expressions or words. The student went up and stared at all of us while having his hands in both his pants pockets. He tried to keep a calm presence but it was not long until awkwardness set into the air and the class’ uncomfortableness made them start to giggle. With all of us giggling, the student played off our reaction and made a face at us. It really is a fun concept that no matter what we do to try to stop ourselves, we will always end up communicating. Communication can be unintentional like how the student in front of the class naturally just reacted to the class’ laughter by making a face. It can also be intentional. An example of intentional communication can be a student asking for a professor’s constructive criticism on a project they were assigned. Whether it is intentional or not, our behaviors send messages out. These messages are sent through our channels and are received by others through their channels. Communication is important and necessary for our everyday lives. We use it to survive, but also to gain from it. It helps us grow as people, and help others to grow as well. I will do my best going forward not to self-monitor myself into the ground when I attempt to speak to others. Instead, I will try to speak more and continue to learn more from the people around me.